2007-09 Upper Deck Basketball (Western Conference)

Price: $40
16 Packs Per Box/15 Cards Per Pack

Yeah, I opened up a whole box of this, and I'm not ashamed to say that I did. I was SUPPOSED to wait to open this box until my friend came into town this Sunday (my only reader of this blog), but I couldn't resist the temptation. And you know what? I'm glad I did, because if I waited to open up this box of losers, I would have hung myself by my belt out the hotel balcony with Sharpie markings all over me.

Before I get to the box breakdown, a few notes on the contrasts between UD and Topps and my view on what UD got wrong with their series....

UD vs. Topps
In comparing the base sets of UD and Topps, it is apparently that UD wanted to go the more comprehensive approach and include up to 200 of the game's superstars (not including rookies). Did I say superstars? I meant Sarunas Jasikevicius, Eduardo Najera, and Matt Harpring. Basically you know the set's gonna include scrubs when the #1 off the base set is....Austin Croshere. (Side note: great photo for Croshere - it's him getting blocked by Udonis Haslem. When the best pose that a card company can get is you getting stuffed, you should just shoot your own dick off. But I digress.)

So in Topps, you'd be getting doubles, triples of all the superstars (and some scrubs too), but with a 110 base set (not including rookies), you get more recognizable players. Topps however did account for a lower numbered base set by having their "Relic Variations."

The Topps base cards just look cheaper with their black border. UD uses the whole front of the card as their canvas with only a faint silver border on the left side of the card. And I just really hate when the back of the card is sideways like Topps. UD does the good job of keeping the information on the back of the card read top to bottom. This isn't China, Topps.

Alright, so what did UD get wrong though?

UD fuckups
Dear Upper Deck, if you don't have odds listed on your packs about how hard it is to get a Steve Novak Autograph card (more on this later), how do I know when to burn the card - right now or tomorrow? Seriously, people like odds on packs to know how rare a card is. It's just how we, as society, operate. Oh, and also, though I hate getting a checklist in a pack instead of an awesome Steve Novak autograph, checklists are important. It makes us, society folk, determine what we're missing and what we can seek to achieve with buying more packs/boxes. You've left consumers wondering how rare the cards they have are and what cards they should be seeking. You've dashed all our hopes and dreams, Upper Deck. I will strive to create a better card company than you. You can do better and we deserve better. Si, su puede!

Signed,
Barack Obama
from Hope, MA at the intersection of Change Ave and MLK Blvd (insert Chris Rock joke here)


The box breakdown
First thing to note: even with a whole box, I don't have the full base set. Normally, I'd be irate, since UD did this to compel me to buy another box. But aha! My gay lover has his box to open and we can trade cards (and spit) to get complete sets! (No homo.)

First, the Rookies:
GO
Kevin Durant
Al Horford
Corey Brewer
Joakim Noah
Spencer Hawes
Brand Wright
Taurean Green

Why do I note the Rookies? B/c like the base card set, UD put a lot less of them in the packs than Topps. Doing the numbers, some packs didn't even have a rook in em. There are no doubles of these rooks and it's obvious that I'm missing many. Oh, and I also wanted to note that I got all the rookie Gators (except Chris Richards I suppose), including my first Taurean Green card. Hey, his value as an NBA PG might not be high, but he was our PG for our two nat'l championships, so he holds a special place in my heart.

Next, Electric Court:
Lamar Odom
Marquis Daniels
Thaddeus Young (rookie card)

This is UD's version of the Topps gold parallel or whatever. It just would've been cooler if UD had decided to number these parallels like Topps did (even if it's like #2000/2007). I got three of them so I guess they're 1:5 packs. Thanks UD, I had to do the friggin math for you.

2 Kevin Durant Basketball Heroes
Ok, so this is where the Western Conference part of the hobby box comes into play. A couple of things, first, the cards are like eh, very so-so. Secondly, KD is a basketball hero??? Since when? I really need to get a MJ Basketball Hero from the other box (which I am DEFINITELY not tempted to open.....)

Western Conference All-Star Die Cut: Hakeem Olajuwon
I remember when special cards had this look, where the die cut was from the top shaped like a free throw line. (Shaq's die cut was out of print.) Nice card, definitely looks like a card I would have pulled ten years ago. It's Hakeem, I have nothing bad to say.

Now, to the "good stuff"
Star Signings Autograph: Steve Novak
Holy crap! I nearly shit my bed when I saw this card! Actually, the stains were already there. When UD says that it's a "star signing" shouldn't the player be a STAR??? I'm so disappointed in this card. I would have rather pulled a Brendan Haywood Game Used card....

Game Used Jersey: 2 - Danny Granger and Brendan Haywood
What's that you say? Kazaam! There you are. Ask and you shall receive. Two floppy dicks hanging in the air for cards. "Come" to think about it, if they use the actually game jersey, shouldn't some pieces be from the crotch area? *Sniffs cards to check* Darn, no dice. I'm sure a crotch piece game used jersey card from Brendan Haywood would've gone for a lot of money.
Imagine if like a STAR like Danny Granger had gone missing and they used his game jersey card as a piece of evidence for a bloodhound to sniff to find his missing body? (Yes, I am completely deranged.)

Oh, and I pulled a base set MJ, which I think is the best pull out of the box. I mean, it's an MJ and the photo has him driving to the lane while Dennis Rodman is grabbing his crotch. No no homo. Great card, MJ's probably the reason I started collecting cards in the first place. Goddamn that fat fuck who has my MJ Scoring King.