Pack #7
Tony Parker - A Spur. Me hate.
Anthony Parker - very similar to the previous card
Andrew Bogut - When I saw this card, I highfived myself.
Dwayne Wade - Healthy, I love him. Injured, shoot him.
Triple Artifacts - Pete Maravich (#42/50) - Man, my first real hit! The only unfortunate part is that the triple jersey is all white, so no logo or patch areas. Nonetheless, it's numbered out of 50 and it's not a Randy Foye or Vince Carter bs card. I'm happy with this one.
Pack #8
Carlos Boozer - If I were him on the Olympic team, I'd shoot Coach K for not playing me more.
Rashard Lewis - Over. Rated.
Jason Terry - JET it up. Looks too much like Bobby Jackson.
Autofacts - Dee Brown - How unfortunate. My only autograph in the box and it has to be a Dee Brown. Even worse, he couldn't even take the time to make a real signature; all there is is a DB. It's so easily forgeable, but the thing is, who the hell would forge a Dee Brown signature? His mom?
Pack #9
JJ Redick - Face it, you're never going to get minutes in the NBA. Just kill yourself JJ. In a drunken car crash to boot.
Mike Dunleavy - Another white boy, what is this, the white boy pack?
Elton Brand - Like I said, what is this, THE white boy pack? Nice sell out on BD, EB.
Legendary Legacies - Bill Sharman (#72/100) - Why yes, I suppose this is the white boy pack. You can't get whiter than Bill Sharman. I don't even know who this guy is, but his photo blends in with the white background and he's named after a popular brand of toilet paper. Too bad it's numbered to a 100 and has gold foil around it.
Pack #10
Josh Howard - Smoke em if you got em!
Ricky Davis - Read above. Also, shoot em if you got em! One rebound away from a triple double? Shoot at your own rim if you got em!
Antawn Jamison - Hey, one of the most underrated players, and he's rated pretty high.
Cardboard Fake - Darn! I wanted one more hit! Hopefully, my last card will be the one....
Zach Randolph (#78/100) - ARGH! This is my last card in the last pack? A gold parallel of Doughboy? I am severely disappointed.
This last card has made me want to go buy another box of Artifacts...it's just totally coincidental that it's my birthday box as well!
Friday, September 5, 2008
Thursday, September 4, 2008
More Artifacts Pack Breaks
Pack #4
Stephon Marbury - Wow, Starbury. This card should be a redemption card to turn into any Foot Locker in exchange for the $15 kicks that he was trying to peddle. He's embroiled in a lawsuit against Nike(?) b/c of his shoes. Hey, I guess those truck parties get real expensive nowadays with high gas prices.
Jordan Farmar - Eh, decent player, what else is there to say?
Kobe Bryant - Yay, Black Mamba. One relevant note from the photo: Kobe's got some jacked arms!
Dirk Nowitzki - I saw this card and dropped it. Because I was so sad, I'm planning a trip to New Zealand for three months so no one can find me.
Divisional Artifacts - Jamaal Magloire (#123/250)- Why did they get a game used card for this man? The only interesting note on the card itself is that JaMag is in a Blazers uniform and the jersey patch is from the Blazers, yet next to his name, UD has him on the Nets. It's apropo for a journeyman.
Pack #5
Michael Redd - Brought to you by Rogaine.
Gerald Wallace - Love his game. He can do anything he wants on the court when he's healthy. I mean, if I had to put money on anybody to put up a quintuple double, it'd be him.
Zach Randolph - Hey, at least it wasn't an Eddy Curry right? I wonder if the two of them go on late night doughnut/White Castle runs giggling together at how much they're able to order on NBA salaries.
Rookie Legacies - Al Thornton (#57/1299) - Guy's from FSU. I'm morally obligated to burn the card.
Pack #6
Chauncey Billups - You make one big shot your entire life, and everybody in the village calls you Mr. Big Shot. You fuck one goat....
Chris Wilcox - Is he the black brother of Chris Kaman? They both have that ugly ass hair.
Richard Jefferson - Blah.
Rookie Legacies - Kevin Durant (#666/699) - Alright, not a bad card. Plus, it has a great numbering on it! Nothing but upside with this fellow here.
Stephon Marbury - Wow, Starbury. This card should be a redemption card to turn into any Foot Locker in exchange for the $15 kicks that he was trying to peddle. He's embroiled in a lawsuit against Nike(?) b/c of his shoes. Hey, I guess those truck parties get real expensive nowadays with high gas prices.
Jordan Farmar - Eh, decent player, what else is there to say?
Kobe Bryant - Yay, Black Mamba. One relevant note from the photo: Kobe's got some jacked arms!
Dirk Nowitzki - I saw this card and dropped it. Because I was so sad, I'm planning a trip to New Zealand for three months so no one can find me.
Divisional Artifacts - Jamaal Magloire (#123/250)- Why did they get a game used card for this man? The only interesting note on the card itself is that JaMag is in a Blazers uniform and the jersey patch is from the Blazers, yet next to his name, UD has him on the Nets. It's apropo for a journeyman.
Pack #5
Michael Redd - Brought to you by Rogaine.
Gerald Wallace - Love his game. He can do anything he wants on the court when he's healthy. I mean, if I had to put money on anybody to put up a quintuple double, it'd be him.
Zach Randolph - Hey, at least it wasn't an Eddy Curry right? I wonder if the two of them go on late night doughnut/White Castle runs giggling together at how much they're able to order on NBA salaries.
Rookie Legacies - Al Thornton (#57/1299) - Guy's from FSU. I'm morally obligated to burn the card.
Pack #6
Chauncey Billups - You make one big shot your entire life, and everybody in the village calls you Mr. Big Shot. You fuck one goat....
Chris Wilcox - Is he the black brother of Chris Kaman? They both have that ugly ass hair.
Richard Jefferson - Blah.
Rookie Legacies - Kevin Durant (#666/699) - Alright, not a bad card. Plus, it has a great numbering on it! Nothing but upside with this fellow here.
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
2007-09 Upper Deck Basketball (Western Conference)
Price: $40
16 Packs Per Box/15 Cards Per Pack
Yeah, I opened up a whole box of this, and I'm not ashamed to say that I did. I was SUPPOSED to wait to open this box until my friend came into town this Sunday (my only reader of this blog), but I couldn't resist the temptation. And you know what? I'm glad I did, because if I waited to open up this box of losers, I would have hung myself by my belt out the hotel balcony with Sharpie markings all over me.
Before I get to the box breakdown, a few notes on the contrasts between UD and Topps and my view on what UD got wrong with their series....
UD vs. Topps
In comparing the base sets of UD and Topps, it is apparently that UD wanted to go the more comprehensive approach and include up to 200 of the game's superstars (not including rookies). Did I say superstars? I meant Sarunas Jasikevicius, Eduardo Najera, and Matt Harpring. Basically you know the set's gonna include scrubs when the #1 off the base set is....Austin Croshere. (Side note: great photo for Croshere - it's him getting blocked by Udonis Haslem. When the best pose that a card company can get is you getting stuffed, you should just shoot your own dick off. But I digress.)
So in Topps, you'd be getting doubles, triples of all the superstars (and some scrubs too), but with a 110 base set (not including rookies), you get more recognizable players. Topps however did account for a lower numbered base set by having their "Relic Variations."
The Topps base cards just look cheaper with their black border. UD uses the whole front of the card as their canvas with only a faint silver border on the left side of the card. And I just really hate when the back of the card is sideways like Topps. UD does the good job of keeping the information on the back of the card read top to bottom. This isn't China, Topps.
Alright, so what did UD get wrong though?
UD fuckups
Dear Upper Deck, if you don't have odds listed on your packs about how hard it is to get a Steve Novak Autograph card (more on this later), how do I know when to burn the card - right now or tomorrow? Seriously, people like odds on packs to know how rare a card is. It's just how we, as society, operate. Oh, and also, though I hate getting a checklist in a pack instead of an awesome Steve Novak autograph, checklists are important. It makes us, society folk, determine what we're missing and what we can seek to achieve with buying more packs/boxes. You've left consumers wondering how rare the cards they have are and what cards they should be seeking. You've dashed all our hopes and dreams, Upper Deck. I will strive to create a better card company than you. You can do better and we deserve better. Si, su puede!
Signed,
Barack Obama
from Hope, MA at the intersection of Change Ave and MLK Blvd (insert Chris Rock joke here)
The box breakdown
First thing to note: even with a whole box, I don't have the full base set. Normally, I'd be irate, since UD did this to compel me to buy another box. But aha! My gay lover has his box to open and we can trade cards (and spit) to get complete sets! (No homo.)
First, the Rookies:
GO
Kevin Durant
Al Horford
Corey Brewer
Joakim Noah
Spencer Hawes
Brand Wright
Taurean Green
Why do I note the Rookies? B/c like the base card set, UD put a lot less of them in the packs than Topps. Doing the numbers, some packs didn't even have a rook in em. There are no doubles of these rooks and it's obvious that I'm missing many. Oh, and I also wanted to note that I got all the rookie Gators (except Chris Richards I suppose), including my first Taurean Green card. Hey, his value as an NBA PG might not be high, but he was our PG for our two nat'l championships, so he holds a special place in my heart.
Next, Electric Court:
Lamar Odom
Marquis Daniels
Thaddeus Young (rookie card)
This is UD's version of the Topps gold parallel or whatever. It just would've been cooler if UD had decided to number these parallels like Topps did (even if it's like #2000/2007). I got three of them so I guess they're 1:5 packs. Thanks UD, I had to do the friggin math for you.
2 Kevin Durant Basketball Heroes
Ok, so this is where the Western Conference part of the hobby box comes into play. A couple of things, first, the cards are like eh, very so-so. Secondly, KD is a basketball hero??? Since when? I really need to get a MJ Basketball Hero from the other box (which I am DEFINITELY not tempted to open.....)
Western Conference All-Star Die Cut: Hakeem Olajuwon
I remember when special cards had this look, where the die cut was from the top shaped like a free throw line. (Shaq's die cut was out of print.) Nice card, definitely looks like a card I would have pulled ten years ago. It's Hakeem, I have nothing bad to say.
Now, to the "good stuff"
Star Signings Autograph: Steve Novak
Holy crap! I nearly shit my bed when I saw this card! Actually, the stains were already there. When UD says that it's a "star signing" shouldn't the player be a STAR??? I'm so disappointed in this card. I would have rather pulled a Brendan Haywood Game Used card....
Game Used Jersey: 2 - Danny Granger and Brendan Haywood
What's that you say? Kazaam! There you are. Ask and you shall receive. Two floppy dicks hanging in the air for cards. "Come" to think about it, if they use the actually game jersey, shouldn't some pieces be from the crotch area? *Sniffs cards to check* Darn, no dice. I'm sure a crotch piece game used jersey card from Brendan Haywood would've gone for a lot of money.
Imagine if like a STAR like Danny Granger had gone missing and they used his game jersey card as a piece of evidence for a bloodhound to sniff to find his missing body? (Yes, I am completely deranged.)
Oh, and I pulled a base set MJ, which I think is the best pull out of the box. I mean, it's an MJ and the photo has him driving to the lane while Dennis Rodman is grabbing his crotch. No no homo. Great card, MJ's probably the reason I started collecting cards in the first place. Goddamn that fat fuck who has my MJ Scoring King.
16 Packs Per Box/15 Cards Per Pack
Yeah, I opened up a whole box of this, and I'm not ashamed to say that I did. I was SUPPOSED to wait to open this box until my friend came into town this Sunday (my only reader of this blog), but I couldn't resist the temptation. And you know what? I'm glad I did, because if I waited to open up this box of losers, I would have hung myself by my belt out the hotel balcony with Sharpie markings all over me.
Before I get to the box breakdown, a few notes on the contrasts between UD and Topps and my view on what UD got wrong with their series....
UD vs. Topps
In comparing the base sets of UD and Topps, it is apparently that UD wanted to go the more comprehensive approach and include up to 200 of the game's superstars (not including rookies). Did I say superstars? I meant Sarunas Jasikevicius, Eduardo Najera, and Matt Harpring. Basically you know the set's gonna include scrubs when the #1 off the base set is....Austin Croshere. (Side note: great photo for Croshere - it's him getting blocked by Udonis Haslem. When the best pose that a card company can get is you getting stuffed, you should just shoot your own dick off. But I digress.)
So in Topps, you'd be getting doubles, triples of all the superstars (and some scrubs too), but with a 110 base set (not including rookies), you get more recognizable players. Topps however did account for a lower numbered base set by having their "Relic Variations."
The Topps base cards just look cheaper with their black border. UD uses the whole front of the card as their canvas with only a faint silver border on the left side of the card. And I just really hate when the back of the card is sideways like Topps. UD does the good job of keeping the information on the back of the card read top to bottom. This isn't China, Topps.
Alright, so what did UD get wrong though?
UD fuckups
Dear Upper Deck, if you don't have odds listed on your packs about how hard it is to get a Steve Novak Autograph card (more on this later), how do I know when to burn the card - right now or tomorrow? Seriously, people like odds on packs to know how rare a card is. It's just how we, as society, operate. Oh, and also, though I hate getting a checklist in a pack instead of an awesome Steve Novak autograph, checklists are important. It makes us, society folk, determine what we're missing and what we can seek to achieve with buying more packs/boxes. You've left consumers wondering how rare the cards they have are and what cards they should be seeking. You've dashed all our hopes and dreams, Upper Deck. I will strive to create a better card company than you. You can do better and we deserve better. Si, su puede!
Signed,
Barack Obama
from Hope, MA at the intersection of Change Ave and MLK Blvd (insert Chris Rock joke here)
The box breakdown
First thing to note: even with a whole box, I don't have the full base set. Normally, I'd be irate, since UD did this to compel me to buy another box. But aha! My gay lover has his box to open and we can trade cards (and spit) to get complete sets! (No homo.)
First, the Rookies:
GO
Kevin Durant
Al Horford
Corey Brewer
Joakim Noah
Spencer Hawes
Brand Wright
Taurean Green
Why do I note the Rookies? B/c like the base card set, UD put a lot less of them in the packs than Topps. Doing the numbers, some packs didn't even have a rook in em. There are no doubles of these rooks and it's obvious that I'm missing many. Oh, and I also wanted to note that I got all the rookie Gators (except Chris Richards I suppose), including my first Taurean Green card. Hey, his value as an NBA PG might not be high, but he was our PG for our two nat'l championships, so he holds a special place in my heart.
Next, Electric Court:
Lamar Odom
Marquis Daniels
Thaddeus Young (rookie card)
This is UD's version of the Topps gold parallel or whatever. It just would've been cooler if UD had decided to number these parallels like Topps did (even if it's like #2000/2007). I got three of them so I guess they're 1:5 packs. Thanks UD, I had to do the friggin math for you.
2 Kevin Durant Basketball Heroes
Ok, so this is where the Western Conference part of the hobby box comes into play. A couple of things, first, the cards are like eh, very so-so. Secondly, KD is a basketball hero??? Since when? I really need to get a MJ Basketball Hero from the other box (which I am DEFINITELY not tempted to open.....)
Western Conference All-Star Die Cut: Hakeem Olajuwon
I remember when special cards had this look, where the die cut was from the top shaped like a free throw line. (Shaq's die cut was out of print.) Nice card, definitely looks like a card I would have pulled ten years ago. It's Hakeem, I have nothing bad to say.
Now, to the "good stuff"
Star Signings Autograph: Steve Novak
Holy crap! I nearly shit my bed when I saw this card! Actually, the stains were already there. When UD says that it's a "star signing" shouldn't the player be a STAR??? I'm so disappointed in this card. I would have rather pulled a Brendan Haywood Game Used card....
Game Used Jersey: 2 - Danny Granger and Brendan Haywood
What's that you say? Kazaam! There you are. Ask and you shall receive. Two floppy dicks hanging in the air for cards. "Come" to think about it, if they use the actually game jersey, shouldn't some pieces be from the crotch area? *Sniffs cards to check* Darn, no dice. I'm sure a crotch piece game used jersey card from Brendan Haywood would've gone for a lot of money.
Imagine if like a STAR like Danny Granger had gone missing and they used his game jersey card as a piece of evidence for a bloodhound to sniff to find his missing body? (Yes, I am completely deranged.)
Oh, and I pulled a base set MJ, which I think is the best pull out of the box. I mean, it's an MJ and the photo has him driving to the lane while Dennis Rodman is grabbing his crotch. No no homo. Great card, MJ's probably the reason I started collecting cards in the first place. Goddamn that fat fuck who has my MJ Scoring King.
Ok, just one more pack.....
Took me all of five minutes to succumb. But really, this is my (last) last pack of the day. I really need this box to last b/c I'm not going to be buying a box a week for this (ephemeral) habit. Honestly, whether the pack is good or bad, just one more....
(Side note: I'm opening these packs up in the order of 'top to bottom' and 'left to right,' hence my first pack was the top left one, my second being the top right one, etc.)
Third pack (left, second from top):
Carmelo Anthony - doing in his photo what he always does: trying to figure out how to make people stop snitchin'. Hey Melo, how about making people stop scorin' on you? I mean, just a thought. You being an NBA professional basketball player and all.
Andrea Bargnani - Ok seriously? The second coming of Rony Seikaly is still in the NBA? The Raptors really screwed this #1 pick up big time. He's nothing like Dirk, and oh yeah, if I had to compare my game to Dirk, it wouldn't be bad....but what about being compared to Dirk in regards to his heart, desire, mental stability, clutchness....I could go on and on.
Divisional Artifacts - Mehmet Okur (#217/250) - Oh, excellent! What a card! I get to feel Mehmet Okur's sweat on this little patch of his jersey? The card smells like falafel. That joke only works if people in Turkey eat falafel and if Okur is Turkish.....which I have no idea of. Come to think of it, I'm really upset that I have a nice card of Mehmet Okur. I will actively root against him this upcoming NBA season...ok, I guess the card isn't THAT nice, it's not like it's a #1/1 card. I just want to root against Turkey.
Mike Miller - Being a former Gator, I'll remember him for that shot against Butler to save our tournament hopes in 2000. But man, they don't get uglier than Mike Miller. I'd best describe Mike Miller's face as this: Sasha Vujacic's hair, Damon Stoudamire's nose, Dikembe Mutombo's teeth, Jason William's eyes. Chris Kaman might be his father. Wait, would that make him German? I don't know how all that works. All I know is I want to vomit when I see this picture: http://sports.espn.go.com/nba/players/profile?statsId=3404
Raymond Felton - back of card: "Felton has quickly learned how to run an NBA team." Really? We're going with that now? He's not a terrible player, but running an NBA team? Deron Williams runs an NBA team. Chris Paul runs an NBA team. Raymond Felton, I would opine, runs a Roscoe's House of Chicken 'n Waffles: http://www.roscoeschickenandwaffles.com/
Stupid Memo.....http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendID=65667867
(Side note: I'm opening these packs up in the order of 'top to bottom' and 'left to right,' hence my first pack was the top left one, my second being the top right one, etc.)
Third pack (left, second from top):
Carmelo Anthony - doing in his photo what he always does: trying to figure out how to make people stop snitchin'. Hey Melo, how about making people stop scorin' on you? I mean, just a thought. You being an NBA professional basketball player and all.
Andrea Bargnani - Ok seriously? The second coming of Rony Seikaly is still in the NBA? The Raptors really screwed this #1 pick up big time. He's nothing like Dirk, and oh yeah, if I had to compare my game to Dirk, it wouldn't be bad....but what about being compared to Dirk in regards to his heart, desire, mental stability, clutchness....I could go on and on.
Divisional Artifacts - Mehmet Okur (#217/250) - Oh, excellent! What a card! I get to feel Mehmet Okur's sweat on this little patch of his jersey? The card smells like falafel. That joke only works if people in Turkey eat falafel and if Okur is Turkish.....which I have no idea of. Come to think of it, I'm really upset that I have a nice card of Mehmet Okur. I will actively root against him this upcoming NBA season...ok, I guess the card isn't THAT nice, it's not like it's a #1/1 card. I just want to root against Turkey.
Mike Miller - Being a former Gator, I'll remember him for that shot against Butler to save our tournament hopes in 2000. But man, they don't get uglier than Mike Miller. I'd best describe Mike Miller's face as this: Sasha Vujacic's hair, Damon Stoudamire's nose, Dikembe Mutombo's teeth, Jason William's eyes. Chris Kaman might be his father. Wait, would that make him German? I don't know how all that works. All I know is I want to vomit when I see this picture: http://sports.espn.go.com/nba/players/profile?statsId=3404
Raymond Felton - back of card: "Felton has quickly learned how to run an NBA team." Really? We're going with that now? He's not a terrible player, but running an NBA team? Deron Williams runs an NBA team. Chris Paul runs an NBA team. Raymond Felton, I would opine, runs a Roscoe's House of Chicken 'n Waffles: http://www.roscoeschickenandwaffles.com/
Stupid Memo.....http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendID=65667867
UD Artifacts - a pack a day habit
Finally, it's here! Not AS exciting as when I got my first shipment of Topps, but I mean, that's expected right? So I can't do box breaks online because well first, I don't have a video camcorder, secondly, I don't believe in all the hype surrounding youtube (it should be a defunct site in a couple of years), and three, pursuant to Megan's Law....or is it Murphy's Law? I forget.
So anyways, I decided to slowplay this box and maybe do a pack a day and really talk (to myself b/c I'm typing words in the air that no one reads) about each card. But since today is the day my box came in, of course I'm opening up at least a couple!
Ok, so first insights:
The UD Artifacts box is small. I mean, it's like the size of my fish tank...ok, maybe that's bad, I should really get a bigger fish tank. It's smaller than my fish tank. It's like well, what 40 cards would look like I suppose. I love that Jordan's in the front of the box in his Bulls home jersey.
I open the box and there are my "box toppers" exclusive to Artifacts! They are:
Al Horford - Awesome, cuz I love me my Gators!
Lebron James - worth what, like a quarter?
Tyrus Thomas - Much like his game, these box toppers have a lot of upside, great length, and are severely overhyped (ok, I don't know about the hype factor since my "pulse" on the basketball trading card community is as strong as the pulse that a necrophiliac searches for)
First Pack:
Maurice (Mo) Williams - in his Bucks jersey, I think he'll be a good second banana to LBJ in Cleveland for a season...until he leaves for riches beyond his wildest imaginations (I'm talking about Lebron, in case there was any confusion.)
Zydrunas Ilgauskas - He has hair in this picture, which makes me think they took this photo ten years ago, unless Pantene Pro-V and Rogaine came up with some amazing new shampoo.
Cardboard pack thickener - WTF is this shiz, redeem this code on the card for a discount in the Upper Deck Store? No thanks.
Brandon Roy - Love his game; they say he's like a young Scottie Pippen. But wait, he plays defense? Since when? Isn't he a SG? Maye I'm wrong about all this. I am excited to see what the Blazers can do w/ a healthy GO and the rook Bayless w/ that young ass core they already have.
Legendary Legacies - Rick Barry (#110/999) - Ok, I could jive w/ this card despite it being a Barry and all. These cards look pretty cool - black/white, numbered, well that's about it. Rick Barry was an NBA Finals MVP in 75? The photo of him should be him taking an underhanded free throw shot. Actually, every photo of him should be that way.
Ok, I need another pack, this wasn't that good.
Second Pack:
Josh Smith - love his game. He kinda looks like The Game too in my opinion. All I'm saying is, I'd hate for him to be my "wingman" in real life: he'd make an amazing leap to c-block you, spill drinks everywhere, and shoot erratically. Ok, I'd definitely want him on my NBA team though.....or a laser tag game.
Alonzo Mourning - Shouldn't everybody who gets one of Zo's cards be obligated to sell it to raise money for a new kidney? Great defensive player, always. No homo.
Stupid fake cardboard card....
Chris Bosh - Good job being one of only two viable centers on the US Olympic team. One of the most underrated players in the NBA right now, even though he's rated and regarded highly. I think his game is just that amazing. Also, I'd buy a car from him: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hv7IZP7u9FE
Legendary Legacies - George Gervin (#664/999) - Iceman, nice. I know all the superficial stuff about him: his nickname, his signature finger roll, great scorer, one of the all-time great Spurs, but did you know that Manu Ginobli is a flopper? Yes, it's true. By association, I don't think I can like the Iceman anymore. Flame on!
Resisting temptation to open another pack......
So anyways, I decided to slowplay this box and maybe do a pack a day and really talk (to myself b/c I'm typing words in the air that no one reads) about each card. But since today is the day my box came in, of course I'm opening up at least a couple!
Ok, so first insights:
The UD Artifacts box is small. I mean, it's like the size of my fish tank...ok, maybe that's bad, I should really get a bigger fish tank. It's smaller than my fish tank. It's like well, what 40 cards would look like I suppose. I love that Jordan's in the front of the box in his Bulls home jersey.
I open the box and there are my "box toppers" exclusive to Artifacts! They are:
Al Horford - Awesome, cuz I love me my Gators!
Lebron James - worth what, like a quarter?
Tyrus Thomas - Much like his game, these box toppers have a lot of upside, great length, and are severely overhyped (ok, I don't know about the hype factor since my "pulse" on the basketball trading card community is as strong as the pulse that a necrophiliac searches for)
First Pack:
Maurice (Mo) Williams - in his Bucks jersey, I think he'll be a good second banana to LBJ in Cleveland for a season...until he leaves for riches beyond his wildest imaginations (I'm talking about Lebron, in case there was any confusion.)
Zydrunas Ilgauskas - He has hair in this picture, which makes me think they took this photo ten years ago, unless Pantene Pro-V and Rogaine came up with some amazing new shampoo.
Cardboard pack thickener - WTF is this shiz, redeem this code on the card for a discount in the Upper Deck Store? No thanks.
Brandon Roy - Love his game; they say he's like a young Scottie Pippen. But wait, he plays defense? Since when? Isn't he a SG? Maye I'm wrong about all this. I am excited to see what the Blazers can do w/ a healthy GO and the rook Bayless w/ that young ass core they already have.
Legendary Legacies - Rick Barry (#110/999) - Ok, I could jive w/ this card despite it being a Barry and all. These cards look pretty cool - black/white, numbered, well that's about it. Rick Barry was an NBA Finals MVP in 75? The photo of him should be him taking an underhanded free throw shot. Actually, every photo of him should be that way.
Ok, I need another pack, this wasn't that good.
Second Pack:
Josh Smith - love his game. He kinda looks like The Game too in my opinion. All I'm saying is, I'd hate for him to be my "wingman" in real life: he'd make an amazing leap to c-block you, spill drinks everywhere, and shoot erratically. Ok, I'd definitely want him on my NBA team though.....or a laser tag game.
Alonzo Mourning - Shouldn't everybody who gets one of Zo's cards be obligated to sell it to raise money for a new kidney? Great defensive player, always. No homo.
Stupid fake cardboard card....
Chris Bosh - Good job being one of only two viable centers on the US Olympic team. One of the most underrated players in the NBA right now, even though he's rated and regarded highly. I think his game is just that amazing. Also, I'd buy a car from him: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hv7IZP7u9FE
Legendary Legacies - George Gervin (#664/999) - Iceman, nice. I know all the superficial stuff about him: his nickname, his signature finger roll, great scorer, one of the all-time great Spurs, but did you know that Manu Ginobli is a flopper? Yes, it's true. By association, I don't think I can like the Iceman anymore. Flame on!
Resisting temptation to open another pack......
Monday, September 1, 2008
Bill Russell is a Man. He's 40.
So I got a box of UD Artifacts coming my way soon as well as a box of Western Conference UD (my anima is going to be busting open the Eastern Conference version). While I wait for them (probably coming tomorrow?), I decided to look at my Topps cards again.
What did I find out?
February 5, 1960: Bill Russell "snags an amazing 51 rebounds against Syracuse." Ok, like wtf, are you serious? I know Wilt's 100 is the one that really stands the test of time, but really, I mean, we're talking 51 rebounds here. Oh, and a month and a half later in a playoff game he has 40 rebounds? Under a month after that in the Finals, 35 rebounds? As a guy who loved Dennis Rodman growing up b/c of his rebounding prowess, I gotta give it up to BR. What a stud. I'd love to have him in my fantasy......basketball team.
Players who had one triple double in the 2007-08 season:
Paul Gasol
CP3
Lamar Odumb
Baron Davis
Andre Miller
LBJ
Mo Williams
Ryan Gomes
Boris Diaw
Carmelo
Brad Miller
John Salmons
-I don't know why, but that list depresses me. Brad Miller should never be on the same list as CP3 or Baron Davis.
"Kyle [Korver] is part of a free throw-shooting lore. At a contest in Toronto in 2004, former NBA star Glenn Robinson took the lead with 98 in 100 tries. Korver followed that impressive performance by stepping up to the line and hitting every one of his shots until he reached the century mark."
-Ok, seriously, "free throw-shooting lore?" Who's spinning this fabulously rich tapestry of a tale at a local pub, Jon Barry? Shaq? I really want the follow up to this story. I wonder if it would read something like this: "After losing the free-throw contest, Big Dog Robinson banged Kyle Korver's European slut fiancee mid-court while yelling at Korver to "try beating me in this you pussy!" Kyle just stood there with his hands on his head and tears running down in face." I should write the backs of these cards.
Back of Tony Parker's card: "Tony Parker has an amazing ability to get to the rim of Eva Longoria's asshole and finishes with panache that only a weak little Frenchman can do. Despite being known as a fierce competitor, Tony actually lacks testicles because they came into contact with Coach Greg Popovich's face in a raucous shower scene. Tony Parker Longoria and Popobitch are registered in Target, Pottery Barn, and Rodeo Rick's Empornium."
-See? Dammit, if only anyone other than me would read this blog.
What did I find out?
February 5, 1960: Bill Russell "snags an amazing 51 rebounds against Syracuse." Ok, like wtf, are you serious? I know Wilt's 100 is the one that really stands the test of time, but really, I mean, we're talking 51 rebounds here. Oh, and a month and a half later in a playoff game he has 40 rebounds? Under a month after that in the Finals, 35 rebounds? As a guy who loved Dennis Rodman growing up b/c of his rebounding prowess, I gotta give it up to BR. What a stud. I'd love to have him in my fantasy......basketball team.
Players who had one triple double in the 2007-08 season:
Paul Gasol
CP3
Lamar Odumb
Baron Davis
Andre Miller
LBJ
Mo Williams
Ryan Gomes
Boris Diaw
Carmelo
Brad Miller
John Salmons
-I don't know why, but that list depresses me. Brad Miller should never be on the same list as CP3 or Baron Davis.
"Kyle [Korver] is part of a free throw-shooting lore. At a contest in Toronto in 2004, former NBA star Glenn Robinson took the lead with 98 in 100 tries. Korver followed that impressive performance by stepping up to the line and hitting every one of his shots until he reached the century mark."
-Ok, seriously, "free throw-shooting lore?" Who's spinning this fabulously rich tapestry of a tale at a local pub, Jon Barry? Shaq? I really want the follow up to this story. I wonder if it would read something like this: "After losing the free-throw contest, Big Dog Robinson banged Kyle Korver's European slut fiancee mid-court while yelling at Korver to "try beating me in this you pussy!" Kyle just stood there with his hands on his head and tears running down in face." I should write the backs of these cards.
Back of Tony Parker's card: "Tony Parker has an amazing ability to get to the rim of Eva Longoria's asshole and finishes with panache that only a weak little Frenchman can do. Despite being known as a fierce competitor, Tony actually lacks testicles because they came into contact with Coach Greg Popovich's face in a raucous shower scene. Tony Parker Longoria and Popobitch are registered in Target, Pottery Barn, and Rodeo Rick's Empornium."
-See? Dammit, if only anyone other than me would read this blog.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)